Being tired and yet unable to sleep has got to be one of the most frustrating feelings in the world!
For some reason, my mind is racing today – nowhere in particular, and everywhere all at once – which makes it really hard to “turn off” and fall asleep. Then as I lie awake at night, I go over every event of the day, sometimes events that happened many days ago, and overthink them to a point where it causes me anxiety. It is amazing how I manage to automatically hit on anything that might be even slightly tinted with negativity for this activity. Somehow the positive thoughts feel harder to latch on to. At that point, I usually realize what is going on, and try to stop myself. But once I start down that path, it becomes painfully difficult to stop. I know this is fruitless and and is likely to do me more harm than good – and that leads to further anxiety about not being able to control my anxiety, or go to sleep, which in turn, makes it even harder to go to sleep. Boy, is that the definition of a vicious cycle!
Sometimes I manage to break that vicious cycle by getting up and doing something for a little while (other than trying to go to sleep). Putting my mind on something other than “empty thinking” can sometimes stop the anxiety from rising to the point of panic attacks. Later I might try some delta wave isochronic tones or a sleep meditation/hypnosis audiotrack by Michael Sealy. While both have worked in the past, neither very consistently. I have had kind of the same luck with the sleep-related medication that I’ve tried. So it is a bit of gamble every night as to what it’s going to be.
As for now, I am starting to feel a tad drowsy again, so maybe I will give sleep another try. I leave you with my painting in the featured image, titled “The City Never Sleeps” (12X12, oil on canvas), hoping that YOU do!